HOW MY FIRST LOVE BECOMES MY FIRST ENEMY?????

“Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It’s so true. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the best love, but it’s the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say, ‘Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart’. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it’s good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts.”  

It was during my fifth grade holidays..I was so happy. I spend my holidays with my friends and play with them and had fun with them.my best friend viola said that we need to spend our holidays in a useful manner also it has to be fun.so we decided to go to coaching class for tennis .I love to play tennis.so I agreed with her. Without knowing what is going to happen in that class we went there happily.. There starts my first love....

we were listed in the beginner's class since we were fifth graders only. All the fifth grade students were listed in our class..we were so happy...

on my first day our coach gave us some notes to write before starting to play the game.i went late during my first class.so everyone had already written the notes.since I am late our coach asks me to lend someone note and write it down..I am so shy and so I just stand there without doing anything.so the coach himself asked a boy to give his note to me. that's the point where my first love starts.. that boy came and told the coach that his handwriting is not good. but the coach insists the boy to give his note to me...that's the first time I met him.. He was so handsome and cute like a prince. every girl dreams about her prince and has some ideas how her prince will look like. Since I am a girl too I also had a dream about my prince too..and that prince had appeared before me at that time.i was so attracted to him.i cant able to take my eyes of him.he was so beautiful and when I opened his note what I saw was the most beautiful handwriting in the world.he wrote down every points very neatly and clearly.i got so impressed by him..that day I fell in love.he was my first love...

everyday I went to the coaching class not to learn tennis but to see him..the next day I gave the note to him.he didn't respond to me.he just got the note from me and went away.i like that character of him.his stubborn character has attracted me to him..he has such a cold character yet beautiful inside the heart.he played the tennis very perfectly like a professional.i become so crazy for him.he has such a perfect character but in my case I am not that perfect. Even though I study well, also play tennis well, I think that I am not pretty enough when compared to him.so I don't have enough courage to speak to him or confess my love to him. Days passed and I always watched him from distance and love his playing.at last the coaching classes were over .on that last day I see him lastly and I told myself it would be impossible to see him again . I said goodbye to my first love.....but I prayed the god to see him once again.....

our high school life starts and I got enrolled to seika high school.putting my first love inside my heart I went to the school happily.since it was my first love I cant able to forget it.to my surprise,on my first day at school ,I saw him again.i was so happy to see him again .and also he belongs to my class.i was so so happy.but that happiness did not last forever.since I am new to the school I had some problem to become friends with everyone.it took more time to become friends with every student of my class . Since I study well the teachers cared me very much and was so nice to me . Since I study well and got more attention from teachers some of my classmates hated me. That some classmates includes my first love too . Even though he has talent ,he didn't study well.so he hated me since every teacher is so nice to me and how I finish every work perfectly everyday.. He hated me so much. Also we had many problems and fights too . The teachers made me the class rep and so I had to took care of our class.my first love has a gang with 5 members . They were always so imperfect and wont do any works the teachers gave and talk always during the class hours.so its my duty to correct them .so I always gave them warning to study well and don't talk during the class. But they don't listen to my advice.so we had some fights everyday.my love for him vanishes due to his irresponsible behaviour. Day by day I get to know him and his character. He was so different from the character of what I dreamt of.so little by little we had so many problem and my love towards him become hatred and he also hates me very much. We always had fight mostly everyday. Even though I hate him there is still a small space where I love him. But I decided to seal that part away from my heart. Year by year passes and we had never became friend . Instead of becoming friends we become enemy. That's how my first love turned into my first enemy. We studied 7 years together.

on my last year during my high school we somehow became friends. That's because I am a friend of his one side love. He loves two girls but his first love is a senior. These two girls are friend of mine and we were close friends.so in order to speak with them he became friend with me. He chatted with me.

on my 12th grade holidays I mostly chatted with him. I agreed to help him with his love. I always thought he is an idiot to love two girls. Those two girls wont love him . They are the girls who wont love due to family reasons.it is never going to work out between them. I told him that but he ignored me and continued to love them. We spend my 12th holidays like this by chatting with him. I love to chat with him even though he is my enemy. That when I realize that I still love him.. But still then I don't have the courage to confess my love because I know that he will turn down my confession since he is already in love with two most beautiful girls.so I didn't confessed to him and continue to be friend with him. Even though we became friend we still fight and I love to fight with him. I am also so jealous of those two girls.. He loves those girls but those girls wont love him. I love him but he wont love me. Both of our love is not successful. Days passed and we entered into college. He went to a far distance college and I went to a near college. But still we continued to chat. Every time he chat ,he always speaks about his love and asks me to give an intro to him. But I always hesitate to do that.so he fight with me due to that reason. Our chatting goes to the next level and we talked over the phone.. Everyday we talked in the phone till 2AM in the morning. He shares with me everything that he had done during that day and his personal matters. Day by day we become a little close friend but not best friends. we talked and talked and talked everyday. I am the first girl whom he chats most and talks most except his sisters.iam so proud of that fact.but after then during his birthday we got a fight and seperated . That's because I promised him that I will give intro to his first love but I failed to give him during his birthday.so he became angry and he didn't spoke with me like usually. I also stopped chatting with him. I feel somehow jealous and thought that since he loves that girl why do I need to chat with him. Since he don't understand me why do I need to talk with him.so I stopped talking with him. I finally decided myself not to love him anymore nor expect him to love me. Because that is not going to happen forever.so I told my heart that he is not worthy of you and so I decided not to love him or have feelings for him since he is already deeply in love with his first love. He cant able to forget his first love.likewise I also cant able to forget my first love.

during those days I chatted,i thought that he recognizes my feelings for him.but I was wrong.he never recognized my feelings for him.its not going to happen.so I decided to gave up on him.

after his birthday he texted me one day surprisingly.i replied him.likewise he will text me rarely and also I reply him rarely.that how these days are going.

I always wonder that whether my feelings reach him or not before my life ends. Even if my feelings reach him means what will he do??will he accept my feelings or reject my feelings for him??likewise I have lots of questions in my mind. But from the bottom of my heart I hope that one day my feelings surely reach him....

“The future for me is already a thing of the past -
You were my first love and you will be my last”   this is the quote which I cant forget in my life..

I hope that one day I will find my true love...with that hope I live everyday but I cant forget my first love and my first enemy ever and ever..I wonder what is waiting for me tomorrow to impress me in my life.. Lets see...until then bye...

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